Indifference

I don't understand why some average peoples' kids lose touch with them when they get older. Have they forgotten what their parents did for them throughout their growing up years? Or has the age where thoughtfulness, and consideration for their elders passed, and is no longer acceptable. I know that isn't entirely the answer, because not every one is like that. But I know from what I've heard that there are a good number of parents who have had this happen. I guess those grown children don't understand the affect their indifference has on those who continue to care for them.

I know someone who had their son with them until he was thirteen. Throughout his growing up years they had lived in various locations. His parents had broken up, and had gone their separate ways. Both had moved on with their lives, found different mates, and so on. When the child became of age, he chose to leave his father's country home, to relocate to the big city where his mother lived. Did he prefer the hustle and bustle of the city? Was the country too tame for him? Or was it something else? I don't know, but many years later, he still lives outside that big city with his wife, and child. They both commute into the heart of the city, from their suburban home, to work.

The above mentioned father had a good relationship with his son throughout his life. But they hadn't really kept in touch well. For quite awhile the father didn't even have an address for him. But he had found him, and had even visited them a few times. Within the past year he was even informed that he had a grand daughter. But that was it, even though he has tried repeatedly, in various ways, to communicate, his attempts have been in vain. I cannot understand how anyone could be that busy, they can't even respond in a one sentence email or instant message.

Years ago I worked for a short time in a nursing home. There was a lady who told me that her kids had sold off her house, without her consent, and had stuck her in the home. Then, they rarely, if ever, came to visit her. What is wrong with people? Are older people that dispensable in the average person's life? Fortunately, so far, that isn't the case with my daughter. They have been gone from the area about six years, and have always come home at least twice a year. And she has always, other than the exception, called me at least a couple of times a week.

I hope this continues, and that she never gets too busy, or wrapped up in her life, to remember that I exist. In my opinion, I think it is terrible that families don't keep in touch better. I realize everyone gets busy, life interferes, and things happen. But is it too much to ask to at least try to stay in touch? At least kids and parents, if not extended family. What can be so all fired important that a simple message cannot be exchanged at least periodically? Once again, just my thoughts out here in the country.

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Blog?

I'm still not sure I have the faintest idea what a blog should consist of. So I have given up actually trying to understand them. I figure if some idea pops into my head throughout the day, and I can enlarge upon it, why not go with it. As long as I don't assign an actual name to my blog site, how can anyone say it isn't appropriate? Often times, I don't believe in following a firm set of rules, but blur the edges to suit myself... The way I understand it, basically a blog helps readers figure out whether the author can write anything of substance, and value. Do I? I haven't a clue. But somehow a few readers have found their way to my site.  That is wonderful, and I deeply appreciate their interest.

I will keep plugging away, because I have thought about blogging for some time. But wasn't sure if I could think of something ongoing to write about. In this way, I am not locked into one ongoing subject, but offer my thoughts on whatever enters my mind. I live in the country, have a few varied interests, a dysfunctional family, and a wonderful daughter, two grand daughters, and husband. Therefore, I have decided that I will do my best to continue to do so. There is always something happening in the country, even if it doesn't seem all that important at the time. If I don't think of something every day, eventually something will come to me. I will do my best to write one as frequently as I can.

Basically, it has been kind of fun, so far. I signed up for three different sites, but I like this one the best because it offers stats. One other doesn't, therefore I have no clue if anyone has ever read anything on it. And the final one, shows stats, but only in the beginning, as though it has somehow lost the connection. Therefore, I am going to concentrate on supplying entries for this one, and may let the others go by the wayside. Even though not everyone may agree with my viewpoint, it is only that, my viewpoint. I don't expect everyone to go along with it, but I am entitled to my opinion. That is how I see it in the country.

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Family

Some fathers, and mothers, are truly amazing, while others leave a lot to be desired. I have seen both, and my father was somewhere in between. He tried, worked to support his family, but rarely showed his children, or wife, affection. He wasn't an entirely bad person, but there were areas he definitely could have improved upon. My mother and he had a pretty volatile relationship, and even though married over fifty years, had their differences of opinion. They were both tough, don't take much guff, individuals. Both are gone now, one nearly twenty years, the other coming up on seven.

There is something to be said for having both parents in a family. Both have attributes that contribute to a child growing up properly. My father wasn't really one to spend much time with his offspring. He had other interests he preferred to pursue, and often my mother accompanied him. She was more prone to at least talk to her kids, and sometimes help with homework, or teach a child how to do something. Where he was more apt to shout, and give what for, should something displease him.

My daughter's father was quick to anger, although not afraid to give learning pointers when needed. Unfortunately, he wasn't as quick to praise, or spend much time with his child. Which was sad, because he passed on when she was only fourteen. Therefore, through her high school, college, and the years since, she has only had one parent. It hasn't been easy, but we have managed to make it this far. Where I, on the other hand, spent as much time with her as I could. I worked full time, which meant she spent substantial time with grandmothers, aunts, and baby sitters. But when I had free time, it was spent with her.

I know often circumstances can wreak havoc on the family structure. And perfect conditions don't often prevail. Therefore, we do the best we can with the hand we are dealt. These days work, and a busy lifestyle often upset the family situation. It is a shame that just existing costs so much. That family members must work too many hours, or jobs, and spend too much time away from home. Whether it is commuting, working away just to have an income, or both parents working. Family members need each other, whether its mom, dad, or siblings, there is a reason why it is called a family unit. Just my thoughts out here in the country.

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My Word

One thing that annoys me is when people don't keep their word. If they have no intention of doing so, they should keep their mouth shut. And its a shame when those who can't, insist on doing so anyway. Apparently the days when a person's word was their honour, have fallen by the way side. Although I am sure there are still some who are good for it. When a handshake is still considered as good as a written, and signed document.

I have always tried to have my word mean something. Even when my daughter was little, and I would think about something fun for us to do. Which wasn't always easy because I worked more than full time. Sometimes she would get upset with me because we didn't often get to do fun things. But when I was able to do something like that, I would make sure I had all my "ducks in a row" ahead of time. Enough time off, bases aligned, and the money to cover expenses for the intended event. Until that was in place, I would never say a word to her about it. Once I knew everything was arranged, then and only then, did I tell her.

In that way I was able to avoid the "never let you forget it" disappointment that was sure to follow if I didn't, or couldn't, follow through. Even with others, I didn't like letting people down. If I didn't think something was possible, I said so. Thereby, avoiding dashing high expectations, that were simply unattainable. I would rather let an opportunity pass, when I was unsure, than say I could do it, and not be able to.

It doesn't matter if money, your time, borrowing something of yours, or whatever the case may be, are involved. The principle is the same, don't make promises you cannot keep. It not only makes you look bad, but like a liar, and one not to be trusted. Why would anyone want people they may deal with on a regular basis, to view them in such a poor light? Just keeping my word out here in the country.

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Unwelcome Visitors

I had my first visit, in a long time, from two associates of one of those religious witness fanatic organizations. We have periodically found their tracts left outside of our house. But it has been years since one has actually knocked on the door. Which has been fine with me, because I am not a religious fanatic. Not that I am against religion, I went to church for a lot of years. I just prefer that they leave me alone, leave a tract, or not, but don't bother knocking.

Sometimes I think these people single out country folk, because they don't get far in more populated areas. We have had them coming around forever. My first husband occasionally had a word or two with them. Then told them he was busy. He would suggest they come back when I was home. Which did not make me happy. But since we had a young child, he didn't figure he should talk to them like he would have preferred to. Which undoubtedly would have included several four letter words, and that the public highway ended at the main road.

Fortunately, most of the time I have been able to avoid them. I don't appreciate strangers coming to my place, regardless of what they are trying to sell. If I want to go to church, I know where they are located. I don't need people coming to my doorstep trying to shove their beliefs down my throat. One time my present husband had a woman cross a ladder, laid across a creek, in high heels and with two young children, attempting to do the same.

I suppose a person has to give them credit for perseverance. They do go to extraordinary measures to do their witnessing. I can remember them standing on street corners in a nearby town shouting their beliefs to individuals walking by, and cars passing on the street. But I do believe it isn't entirely right, because not everyone believes in the same things. And not all care to hear what they have to say. I know religious freedom is a right. But I still don't believe they have the right to push it onto those not interested. Again, just my opinion in my little spot in the country.

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